Born into an Inferno
by ScotSniper
Summary: My name is Rylte. I am an egg. Bad stuff happens and suddenly I'm the most important thing in a young child's life... I pride myself for being ironic but its ironic that I'm not ironic, you understanding me? Also I'm a bit crazy, but most people are eh?
1. How I hate reality

**Born into an Inferno**: The story of Rylte

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><p>Once upon a time there was a sad little boy by the name of Jonathan Langley. He was always depressed for reasons unknown. Jonathan lived among a group of townsfolk, so primitive that they still thought a pocket watch was a good idea. I should also mention that they were all depressed as well, again for unknown reason.<p>

The People were so concerned about their chronic depression that they did nothing about it and instead focused their efforts on maximizing the amount of green paper they could move from one area of the town to the next. And so the problem remained; lots of people were mean, and most of them miserable, even the ones with pocket watches.

Those people remained to be miserable and depressed until one little girl developed the ultimate plan to help everyone overcome their chronic depression… only to be lost a few moments later when the volcano the town was situated on exploded. That of course only led to further depression.

But this story is not about them.

This story is about an egg. My egg in fact. My egg… and the little boy who carries me around wherever he goes hoping that I will hatch soon. For his seventh birthday Willow asked his parents for a Pokemon. They gave him an egg.

Willow Alexander, the seven-year-old boy who carried me everywhere with him was a happy little boy, unlike Jonathan Langley. Willow was the type of child who got everything he wanted from his parents, but unlike most he was able to take "no" for an answer… he always knew he could try again later. It one of the reasons how he got me.

I don't know what he looks like yet, but I know already that we won't get along. Partly because he keeps calling me a Gyarados… and partly because I don't like snobby children.

"Mom I can feel my Gyarados kicking!" I heard Willow cry happily as he ran around the house.

"That's nice dear." His mother replied. She knew I was a Riolu, but didn't tell him? What gives? Can you even get Gyarados from eggs?

For the past two months I have wanted nothing more than to tell this stupid kid I am not a Gyarados… that and to taste these 'donuts' Willow gets all excited about.

Overall my life has been very uneventful so far…

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><p>A few hours later Willow was getting tucked in by his mommy, who also felt compelled to tuck me in too.<p>

I hated getting tucked in.

It is fortunate that Willow decided he was hungry and decided to get up to raid the fridge, taking me with him as always.

But with all good fortune… bad will surely follow.

The next day we went to see a doctor, Doctor Leglise. Leglise was, as they say, only human. In other words he was a carbon based bipedal life form descended from an ape. More specifically he was forty fat and shabby and worked in the Veilstone City Hospital. Leglise was also a very lazy man and if it were up to him he would bypass the whole checkup and take the nearest bypass home.

Bypasses are devices which allow some people to dash from point A to point B very fast whilst other people dash from point B to point A very fast. People living at point C, being a point directly between, are often given to wonder what's so great about point A that so many people from point B are so keen to get there and are often given to wonder what's so great about point B that so many people from point A are so keen to get there. They often wish that people would decide once and for all work out where the hell they want to be.

But enough about Bypasses back to the topic on hand; Willow's family has taken me to a hospital for an examination.

The moment I discovered that I was the one being examined I wanted to be at point D. Point D wasn't anywhere in particular, it was just any convenient place a very long way from points A, B and C.

"I have the results…" Leglise spoke suddenly. "I've discovered why your egg won't hatch."

And now for a nap.

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><p>Chapter End.<p> 


	2. I wish I was a Gyarados

**I wish I was a Gyarados**

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><p>Hello! I'm back! Welcome to my epic breaking of the fourth wall!<p>

Let me ask you something… have you ever wanted to be famous? Sure you have! And this is my guide on how to be famous! I may just be an egg at the moment, but I have heard enough television and these so called "blogs" to understand how get myself a good place in the world.

Step 1. Republish a bitchy article that publicly mocks a popular figure for no rational reason. Like Chuck that Johto gymleader!

Step 2. At the same time, publish another article that sternly condemns that same article.

Step 3. Collect Page views and delicious publicity from both articles.

Step 4. Murder a Goat.

=D

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><p>Okay there's more to being famous than that… but I'm not going anywhere, and if you're still reading this, neither are you! But if you become a famous success you will always become a victim of public scrutiny. For example, I heard on the news the other day that some Developer dude of this game thingy called a Nintendo 3DS was forced to apologize for making it cheaper to buy for some reason.<p>

I can imagine it now… picture a dude in a posh suit on a stage bowing down to an angry audience throwing stuff and booing. The guy in the suit is talking.

"I'm afraid the rumors are true, we are lowering the price of the 3DS."

"BOOOOOOOOOOOO" Goes the angry crowd.

"I hope you can find it in your hearts to forgive me."

"You suck!" An angry audience member yells throwing a brick at the man on stage, who narrowly managed to dodge it.

"I'm also ashamed to say I've bought you all milkshakes and jetpacks… I'm so sorry."

"This milkshake has milk in it!" A girl shrieks. "I'm lactose intolerant!"

As you can imagine the public loves to hate you.

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><p>Wait a second… I was napping! That doctor was telling us something quite important! (If its about me its ALWAYS important.)<p>

I woke up… I think, keeping in mind I am still an egg so I have real perception of reality.

"-So I'm afraid your egg may take quite a while to hatch…" Doctor Leglise explained to Willow and his parents.

"So… I'm not getting a Gyarados?" Willow asked innocently.

Leglise snorted. "Don't be ridiculus! Gyarados-"

Leglise caught himself when Willow's mother coughed quite loudly.

"I mean… yes! Gyarados do take longer to hatch being as large as they are…" Leglise hesitantly corrected himself.

What is this? A high school drama about schoolgirls fighting over boys? I'm outta here! Back to my dream world where the men are men, and the Mareep are nervous.

I was rudely awoken by the sound of a door closing… and Willow waving me around making fighter jet noises… Hmm… I wish I could fly…

I guessed it was afternoon by the slight warm on one side of my shell, it was always warmer in the mornings. Willow must be standing by the window right now… I wonder what he's thinking about?

'_Yellow'_ I heard a voice… but it was a physical sound… did that make sense? Probably not.

'_Bulldoser'_ another word that seemed to have originated from nowhere.

"Mum! Theres a big Yellow bulldozer thingy outside!" Willow yelled.

Hmm Yellow… bulldozer? … I must be able to predict the future! I knew what he was going to say before he said it!

A flurry to noisy footsteps and a loud gasp. Willow's mother had apparently seen the Bulldoser Yellow.

Why name something a Bulldoser Yellow? Or was it the other way around?

The door burst open and I heard the loud desperate cries of Willow's parents.

"Stop! stop!" "What are you doing! ?"

"Oh come of it Mr Alexander!" A man yelled in response. "You can't win, you know. You can't lie in front of the bulldozer indefinitely."

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><p>The man, named Remus by his control freak mother, was the only direct male descendant of an ancient warlord who ruled a massive empire that had originated up in the area now known as "Snowpoint". The only vestiges left in Remus of his mighty ancestry were a pronounced stoutness about the belly and a predilection for little fur hats. He was by no means a great warrior: in fact he was a nervous worried man. Today he was particularly nervous and worried because he had to drive a family from their home so that construction of a new bypass could be built.<p>

Since I've already explained what bypasses are in the previous chapter I'm just going to stop my explanation here.

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><p>Somehow the image of Willow's dad lying down in front of the big yellow monster formed in my mind.<p>

"I'm game." Mr Alexander replied. "We'll see who buckles first."

"I'm afraid you're just going to have to accept it." Said the Bulldoser Operator Remus, ruffling his strange furry hat. "This bypass HAS to be built!"

"First I've heard of it!" Mr Alexander bellowed as he flopped in the mud of his front lawn. "Why does it have to be built?"

Remus shook his finger at him for a few moments, stopped and put it away again. "What do you mean why?" He said. "It's a bypass. You've got to build bypasses!"

Remus groaned. He just wanted a nice little cottage with a couple of axes above the door. His wife of course wanted climbing roses, but he wanted axes. He didn't know why – he just liked axes.

Remus returned to reality under the questioning stare of Mr Alexander and the derisive grins of the bulldozer drivers. He shifted his weight on his feet, but decided he was uncomfortable on both. It was obvious that somebody had been appallingly incompetent and he hoped that it wasn't him.

Remus frowned. "You were quite entitled to make any suggestions or protests at the appropriate time, you know."

"Appropriate time?" hooted Mr Alexander. "Appropriate time? The first I knew about this was when a workman came here this morning. I asked him if he was here to clean the windows and he said no he'd come to demolish the house. He didn't tell me straight away, of course. Oh no. First he wiped a couple of windows and charged me a fifty Poke. Then he told me."

"But Mr Alexander, the plans have been available in the local planning office for the last nine months."

"Oh yes, I went there earlier. You hadn't exactly gone out of your way to call attention to them, had you? I mean like actually telling anyone or anything."

"But the plans were on display…" croaked Remus.

"On display? I eventually had to go down into the cellar to find them."

"That's the display department."

"With a torch."

"Ah well the lights had probably gone."

"So had the stairs."

"But…" Remus paused. "You found the notice didn't you?"

"Yes." Said Mr Alexander, "Yes I did. It was stuck on display in the bottom of a locked filing cabinet stuck in a disused lavatory with a sign on the door saying _Beware of the Luxray_."

A cloud passed overhead briefly cutting off the warm hitting my shell. It cast a shadow over the scene. Remus frowned at it.

"Its not as if it's a particularly nice house." He said.

"I'm sorry but my family happens to like it." Mr Alexander shot back.

"They'll like the bypass."

"Oh shut up" Said Mr Alexander. "Shut up and go away and take your bloody bypass with you."

Remus' mouth opened and closed a couple of times whilst his mind for a moment filled with inexplicable, but terribly attractive visions of Mr Alexander's house being consumed by fire and Mr Alexander himself running screaming from the blazing ruin with three hefty spears protruding from his back. Remus was often bothered with such visions like these and they made him feel very nervous. He stuttered for a moment then pulled himself together.

"Mr Alexander" he said.

"Hello? yes?" Said Mr Alexander as he sat up from his puddle of mud.

"Some factual information for you. Have you any idea how much damage that bulldozer would suffer if I just let it roll straight over you?"

"How much?" Asked Mr Alexander.

"None at all." Said Remus and stormed nervously off wondering why his brain as filled with a thousand hairy horsemen all shouting at him.

Willow took the chance to run out the house and yell after him. "If my Gyarados was hatched I would make him eat you!"

Remus stared back at the boy in horror before he started running.

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><p>I heard Remus' footsteps fade into the distance and I couldn't help but feel that this was only round one.<p>

I wish I was a Gyarados.


	3. I Wonder

A/N: Yes, for those of you who spotted it, the first two chapters had a bit of Hitchhiker's guide to the Galaxy in it. I recently finished the first book again and a gained some inspiration from its writing style**. **If you haven't read the series I would advise you to. From here on out, i'm moving into my own plot of events. SO enjoy. **  
><strong>

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><p><strong>I Wonder.<strong>

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><p>It had been weeks since those workmen had last visited the house and things had calmed down a fair bit. I couldn't help but wonder why somebody would want to end the existence of a building that was cherished by a small number of people, just to bring into existence a highway bypass that many people would hate, and very few would use.<p>

I then contemplate my existence, and then eventually drop the subject as I cannot be bothered lulling over the philosophical arguments my brain conjures. Instead I say the simplest, most profound word that springs to mind.

"Cake".

Cakes are, in many ways just like people. Outside they usually look good, usually taste good, but too much makes you sick. Thus, too many humans in the same place is a bad thing.

Why did I have to live in a city?

Wait… how do I know what cake is?

My thoughts were rudely interrupted by Willow picking me up, and for some reason "roaring" at me with his face all scrunched up. In the last few days my peripheral senses had developed to the stage where I could "see" things. My first impressions?

Not impressed.

Willow looked exactly how I imagined him. A scruffy looking kid in scruffy clothes, who spent all his scruffy days doing stuff that made him look scruffier. As a result his dark brown hair was a mess, his "sparkling" blue eyes were slightly bloodshot from prancing around all night pretending he was a Pokemon trainer. I honestly can't understand his reasoning behind wanting to be a Trainer. I mean, you have to leave the comfort your of home, all alone with only a pathetically weak Pokemon as a companion that probably hates you, walk around for hundreds of miles, cook your own meals and tolerate all the extremes nature throws at you.

Willow was now playing around with a couple of Pokemon figurines and- Hey… one of them is a Riolu!

Any brief feeling of joy I had was completely annihilated when I saw the figure in his other hand… Yes, it was a Gyarados.

"Oh no! Please don't eat me!" Willow put on a squeaky voice for the Riolu.

He slowly moved the Gyarados figure closer to the Riolu figure like a predator closing in on its prey.

I was expecting the Gyarados to say something intelligent or cruel sounding… I should have known better…

"RAARRRGH!" Willow screamed before brutally smashing the toys together.

If I could scream in terror… I probably would. Behold the next generation of Pokemon Trainer… and weep.

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><p>My "wonderful" play session with Willow was cut short by Willow's mother. Now that I could "see" her (not in the physical sense) I could understand why Willow's father loved her so much. She had the nicest facial structure I had seen off all other humans so far, she had the same dark brown hair and piercing blue eyes Willow had. But unlike Willow she didn't act like a "rampaging Gyarados".<p>

She told us that friends were coming over… and bringing their daughters. And upon hearing this Willow groaned.

Willow wasn't like most children his age, I quickly discovered, he generally despised having to socialise and had trouble making friends. (I don't think he ever wanted any in the first place). So in an attempt to get their son some friends his parents had set up a "play date". And naturally, it was a bad idea.

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><p>Willow held me tightly in his arms as he stoically glared at the front door, waiting patiently for the guests to arrive. Willow wasn't happy, I could sense that much, I could mostly tell by how hard he was squeezing my egg. His face was contorted into a fearsome scowl that would make even Goku from Dragonball shudder. This scowl was so powerful that it flooded the building an intense pressure, some of this pressure would escape and somehow make its way to Orre, where it would trigger an enormous sandstorm that would ruin the lives of hundreds of farmers and eventually turn the country into a crime infested wasteland. Not that Willow would ever know that.<p>

The doorbell rang. The parents reminded Willow to be polite to the girls. Mrs Alexander realised she had forgotten about the meal in the oven and ran screaming into the kitchen. Mr Alexander simply frowned and glanced at the TV screen, which was showing a special news report about a terrible storm that had started in Orre.

The doorbell rang again.

Mrs Alexander told Mr Alexander to get the door, Mr Alexander told Willow to get the door. Willow grumbled and opened the door slowly.

"Get in." He said simply (and rather rudely) before opening the door wide to allow the other two families to enter.

The two sets of adults wandered into the sitting room where Mr Alexander was staring at his wrist watch, captivated by how the small device could keep better track of time than he could. And by doing so, rudely ignoring the guests he had invited.

My attention was drawn to the two girls that stood before me and my future master. Both girls were Willow's age, roughly 7 years of age and it appeared that both girls shared Willow's enthusiasm about this whole "play date".

The first of the two girls was a girl known as Maylene. She liked pink. She had dyed pink hair and unusual pink eyes that were narrowed into a glare at Willow. Willow simply stared back, wondering how anyone's eyes could be so pink.

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><p>Maylene liked to punch people, she had a gift for it, even people twice her age and size dared not pick a fight with her.<p>

Maylene liked to punch people. Her psychologist had jotted onto his notepad, before he removed a nice white handkerchief from his pocket to cover his bloody nose.

Maylene loved to punch people; she was good at it, so she took it upon herself to learn how to punch people more efficiently. She needed a place where she could punch people whenever she wanted and not be prosecuted by the police for it. Luckily for her, such a place did exist, the Veilstone City Pokemon Gym. There, she discovered kicking.

Maylene now loved to Kick AND punch people, even more so if she didn't like the person she was aiming for.

If she wasn't punching something, she was kicking something and if she wasn't kicking something she would pretend she was Goku as he punched and kicked mountains.

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><p>The other girl had black hair and brown eyes. She smiled weakly as Maylene cracked her knuckles.<p>

"Now, Maylene… I know how much you like to hit people… but can you please not beat this guy up? …Please?"

Maylene frowned and reluctantly nodded to her friend. "Fine."

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><p>Candice was her name; she was generally quite cheerful and overly enthusiastic about… well just about anything. Candice was also the only person Maylene would willingly listen to, and Candice also had a long track record of preventing Maylene ending up in a young offender's institute. They had developed a powerful bond of trust and regarded each other as sisters.<p>

Candice did have her own goals… she loved skating, and she also loved ice. Therefore she wanted to become the world's greatest ice skater, she wanted to train a team of Pokémon to ice skate with her and put on wonderful displays.

But there was just one problem… Candice was probably one of the most uncoordinated people on the planet when it came to using her legs. She had tried skating… and failed. She had tried ice-skating… and failed. But Candice never let this upset her; no, she would stay cheerful and happy. She could always train her Pokémon to ice skate instead.

Although Candice didn't know it, she was probably the most accurate person in the world when it came to throwing snowballs; its practical uses in this world were extreme. But since Candice considered herself a klutz, this potential would never be truly realized.

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><p>Willow had led the two girls up to his room where they had immediately taken an interest in Willow's collection of Pokemon figurines.<p>

Maylene fawned over his collection of fighting types, commenting on how well this species could punch or kick. While Candice gazed in awe at the various ice types and selected a few of them she wanted to have on her future skating team.

Willow simply clung to his Gyarados figure. He didn't care about the other ones really. They only existed to show how much better Gyarados were than them.

"If you want you can have some of them." He said simply to the girls, who paused. Their faces warped into ones of delight, their mouths firing off words of gratitude.

"Just don't touch my Gyarados models" He finished coldly, but the girls simply waved him off. They weren't interested in Gyarados.

"Oh wow!" Maylene announced holding up the Riolu model Willow had been smashing off the table earlier. "I love Riolus!"

Inside my thick eggshell, I felt a feeling of warmth when she said that, but Willow had to go and spoil it.

"Riolus are Gyarados chow!" He announced smugly. " Gyarados are awesome!"

I really hate this kid.


End file.
